Someone sent me this today… I definitely did the tambourine and tie thing. đ
If the first time you saw your uncleâs shot-glass collection, you wondered where he got all those fancy communion cups, then you might be an evangelical.
If youâve ever forgotten to set your clock back at the end of Daylight Savings Time and your first thought at seeing the empty church parking lot was, âOh no, Iâve missed the Rapture,â then âŚ
If youâve lost track of the number of âre-sâ you need to add before âre-re-rededicate your life to Christ,â then âŚ
If your favorite painters are Thomas Kinkade and Warner Sallman, then âŚ
If you never watched âHighway to Heaven,â not because it was too preachy, but because it aired on Wednesday nights, then âŚ
If you knew that âWednesday nightsâ in the previous joke was a reference to prayer meeting, then âŚ
If youâve ever tried to calculate the size of a tip in a restaurant based on how it would influence the waitressâs receptivity to the gospel tract you left with it, then âŚ
âIâve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.â If you just shouted, âWhere?â then âŚ
If your answer to the question âWhat Would Jesus Do?â is âHe would wear a T-shirt that says, âWWJD?ââ then âŚ
If youâve ever played the tambourine while wearing a tie, then âŚ
If youâve ever informed someone youâve just met that they deserve to suffer in Hell for eternity, and you said this without a trace of anger, then âŚ
If the last rock concert you went to included an altar call, then âŚ
If you own any clothing or accessories that you regard as âa witnessing tool,â then âŚ
If you think the phrase âa witnessing toolâ refers to something thatâs good to have rather than someone itâs bad to be, then âŚ
If praying in public makes you talk like a 17th-century Quaker, then âŚ
If two acoustic guitars and a Yamaha DX7 keyboard are your idea of a ârock band,â then âŚ
If you think that thereâs nothing supernatural about the bread and wine during communion, but that there is something supernatural about a Ouija board made by Parker Brothers, then âŚ
If you know what burning vinyl smells like, then âŚ
If you have strong opinions about when, precisely, Amy Grant âsold out,â then …
If a sentence beginning âLord, we just, Lord, want to thank you Lord, for just, Lord, just âŚâ doesnât strike you as either atrocious grammar or a speech impediment, then âŚ
If you think saying grace loudly is a good way to witness at The Olive Garden, then âŚ
If youâve ever discussed whether The Flintstones was set before or after Noahâs flood, then âŚ
If your fantasy football team was selected based on the personal testimony of the players, then