For Parents

I am blessed indeed to call Pastor Dan Phillips my friend. He knows his Bible well and serves his congregation well.

He wrote the following and asked me if I had anything I could add before he sent it to the parents in his congregation. I read it and did not have anything to add. I think what he wrote is very helpful.

I then asked him if he would mind if I passed it on to others. He was happy for me to do so. Hence this post here with his words below.

Much love in the Lord Jesus,

Pastor John

Dan Phillips writes:

Dear CBC parents,

We all wish we could shelter our children from the harmful and corrupt elements of our God-hating culture. Apart from living under a rock, this is becoming increasingly impossible. The homosexual-and-much-more agenda has increasingly intruded itself into every area of American life, from the media to sports to department stores to fast food restaurants and coffee shops.

I am writing to try to help you talk to your children. I’ll write it as one side of a conversation. Use any part that helps you address matters that arise in your children’s world.

You asked me what “gay” and “homosexual” and “trans” means, and why you suddenly see the word “Pride” everywhere. I’m glad you asked me! Let me try to explain it to you.

We’ve read Genesis together. You know that God created the world as a perfect, wondrous place. And you know in Genesis 1 He created Adam and Eve without sin, or any of the awful things sin does when it gets inside someone. Adam and Eve loved God and were happy with themselves, with each other, and with their world.

But then Satan came along in Genesis 3, and he got them to be dissatisfied with what God gave them. He tried to make God look like He didn’t care, and like He didn’t really want what was best for Adam and Eve. Satan tried to convince them that they knew better than God what was right and good, and what was best for them. Now you know, that is pride. Pride blows us up like balloons — all big and impressive looking, but with nothing but air inside. So in their pride, Adam and Eve rebelled against God.

When they did, they died inside. The happiness and wholeness they had were gone. They weren’t happy with themselves, or each other, or their world — or God. So they had to find ways to try to make themselves feel happy, and to hide the guilt they had inside. They felt guilty, because they were guilty. They had sinned against God, their Maker.

All those words you asked me about come out of this. They are all about people dead and broken by sin, still trying to find happiness by defiantly shaking their fist in God’s face and pretending they’re smarter than God.

You remember that God made Adam and Eve, a man and a woman. That’s what sexmeans — it means being a man, or being a woman. People say “gender” today, but gender is really a grammar-term, about words, not people. “Sex” is the better word here. How many sexes did God make? That’s right: two. And when God saw it wasn’t good for the man Adam to be alone, what did God make for him, in Genesis 2? That’s right, a woman, named Eve. So God invented marriage, when a man wants to be with a woman in a special way, and a woman wants to be with a man — only the two of them, with each other.

But all of us children of Adam are sinners, and sin ruins all our good desires and feelings that God gave us. Sin makes us want what we shouldn’t want, and it makes us not want what we should want.

So some poor sad men don’t want to have a woman as their wife. They want another man. And some poor sad women don’t want a man, they want another woman. They are ashamed to want these things, they feel guilty. When we feel guilty, we can only do one of two things. We can go to God, confessing our sins and finding His forgiveness and help. Or we can pretend that we’re okay, and just keep holding to our sin. When people want to pretend these broken, wrong desires are okay, they call it being “gay,” pretending to be truly happy. But they don’t have peace with God, and they won’t be happy when God’s patience comes to an end and He judges them.

And then there are other people so broken by sin that they aren’t willing to be what God made them. God made them a man or a woman — remember, He only made two sexes — but they want to pretend to be something else. Men want to pretend to be women, and women want to pretend to be men. Of course, we are what God made us, and no one can really become the opposite sex. They may try very hard, and even hurt themselves, but it just can’t be done. Still, sometimes we keep pretending, even though it really harms and shames us to do so. And when men or women pretend to be the opposite sex, they call it being “trans.”

So they took the whole month of June to pretend together that all these wrong and harmful things are good, and they call June “Pride” month. Like the Bible says, their “glory is in their shame” (Philippians 3:19).

But things are what God calls them, aren’t they? Not what we call them. So men are always just men, women are always just women, and we can only really marry someone of the opposite sex from us. A man marries a woman, a woman marries a man. Anything else can never really be marriage.

Isn’t it sad to think about people so badly wanting things that are bad for them? Isn’t it awful that what people think will be good for them is really bad for them? But that’s what sin does. It does that to all of us! It’s why children want to disobey their parents. It’s why parents sometimes fight each other, or don’t do such a great job being parents. Sin is behind everything bad that we do or feel.

But remember, God so loved sinful men and women that He sent Jesus to save sinners. Jesus can save any sinner! There is no sin too big for Jesus. He shed His blood so that His people could be forgiven and freed from every last sin of every size! When we turn from our sin and believe in Jesus, we can know that all our sins are forgiven. Isn’t that just the most wonderful news there is?

Even more, Jesus died so that His people could be given new hearts, and so that God’s Holy Spirit could live in our hearts. So God removes our old heart that wanted awful and bad things and hated God, and He gives us a new heart. That new heart wants to love God, and believe Him, and walk in His ways. So all of us, whatever our sins were, can be made new people, children of God, learning to love what God loves and hate what God hates.

So we don’t hate people who want bad things. We would be exactly the same if it weren’t for Jesus. We love people who don’t know Jesus, we pray for them, we want to help them, we want to tell them about Jesus. And when they believe, we accept them and love them and help them to learn to walk with Jesus, just like we’re doing.

Thank you for asking me. Always feel free to ask me any questions you have!

Yours in Christ’s Service,

Dan Phillips

Pastor, Copperfield Bible Church, Houston, Texas

The Language We Use – The Attempt to Rid the World of “he” and “she”

Dr. Al Mohler from today’s briefing:

Humpty Dumpty once said to Alice, as in Alice In Wonderland, “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean. Neither more or less.” Alice responded to Humpty Dumpty, “The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things?” Humpty Dumpty’s retort? “The question is, which is to be master? That’s all.”

There is incredible wisdom and an embedded threat within that quotation. If one is the master of language, then one controls the entire communication system, and for that matter eventually the culture. To control the lexicon, to control the dictionary, to control the vocabulary is eventually to control the meaning, indeed, the entire worldview of a society. The worldview shapes the vocabulary, but make no mistake, the vocabulary shapes the worldview.

Therefore, we have to take seriously a serious opinion piece published recently in The New York Times by the Times columnist Farhad Manjoo. He wrote an article with the headline, “The Perfect Pronoun, Singular ‘They.'”

Manjoo wrote, “I am your stereotypical cisgender, middle-aged suburban dad. I dabble in woodworking, I take out the garbage, and I covet my neighbor’s Porsche. My tepid masculinity apparently rings loudly enough that most people call me, ‘he’ and ‘him.’ And that’s fine; I will not be offended if you refer to me by those traditional uselessly gendered pronouns, but ‘he,'” the author went on to say, “is not what you should call me. If we lived in a just, rational, inclusive universe, one in which we were not also irredeemably obsessed by gender, there would be no requirement for you to have to guess my gender just to refer to me in the common tongue.”

Farhad Manjoo has written for Slate. He’s written for the Wall Street Journal, and now for the New York Times. He’s dabbled in the gender issue before, even writing a piece in which he suggested that men should wear makeup. But in this article, published recently in The New York Times, he is calling for the rejection of traditional gendered pronouns and instead simply the use of the word “they,” even in the singular.

You’ll note that in the article’s opening sentences, he went on to say that this is how we should speak to one another. Manjoo is making a moral argument. He intends to make a moral argument. He is effectively arguing that it is morally superior to use non-gendered language, including pronouns. And the specific pronoun he recommends, well, we know this already, it’s “they.”

Later in the article, he writes, “So, if you write about me, tweet about me, or,” he says, “if you’re a Fox News producer working on a rant about my extreme politics, I would prefer if you left my gender out of it. Call me ‘they,'” he wrote, “as in, ‘Did you read Farhad’s latest column? They’ve really gone off the deep end.'”

He goes on to say, “And unless you feel strongly about your specific pronouns, which I respect, I would hope to call you ‘they’ too, because the world would be slightly better off if we abandoned unnecessary gender signifiers as a matter of routine communication. Be a ‘him’ or ‘her’ or whatever else in the sheets, but consider also being a ‘they’ and a ‘them’ in the streets.”

Well, his suggestion of a linguistic difference between the language used between the sheets and on the streets might be a little bit clever, but it’s way too clever when you consider what’s really at stake here. What he’s calling for is a revolution, not only in the language, but in the morality, and not only that, in the entire worldview, even the understanding of who human beings are, what it means to be human, what it means to be a him or a her, what it means to be a they.

You should remember that earlier in the column, as I quoted, he went on to speak of those traditional uselessly gendered pronouns. Useless. That’s very interesting. He’s calling gender pronouns uselessly gendered. Well, is that true or is that false? Is it important when we speak to one another that we speak to one another as male or as female?

Well, let’s just consider the fact that that is not only the traditional way that human beings have conceived, known, and spoken of one another, throughout the entirety of human existence. It is also something that is deeply embedded not only in the language but in the entire system of meaning. It’s also something that the Bible affirms as a matter of God’s revelation. Indeed, it’s a matter of the creation that God has brought about to his glory. When he created human beings, the only beings in his image, he created us, male and female.

It’s right there in the very first chapter of the Bible. Thus a he and a she, a man and a woman, a male and a female, this is written into the entire structure of creation, and even as Farhad Manjoo refers to them as being now useless, they’re hardly useless. And furthermore, Manjoo protests the fact that many elite institutions that presumably are entirely sold out to and enthusiastic about the moral revolution, including the gender revolution, they haven’t yet caught up with the linguistic revolution.

He asked, “Why do elite cultural institutions, universities, publishers, and media outlets still encourage all this gendering? To get to my particular beef,” he wrote, “when I refer to an individual whose gender I don’t know here in The Times,” that’s The New York Times, “why do I usually have to choose either he or she, or in the clunkiest phrase ever cooked up by small minded grammarians, he or she?”

Manjoo doesn’t want to have it. He writes, “I shouldn’t have to. It’s time for the singular ‘they.’ Indeed, it’s well past time and I’d like to do my part in pushing ‘they’ along.” Manjoo writes as if this is probably inevitable. He says that many in the society are already adjusting to the singular “they.” He says it’s perceived as neutral in gender. “When people encounter it, they’re as likely to guess it’s referring to a man, woman or non-binary person.”

He says this makes the singular “they” a perfect pronoun. “It’s flexible, inclusive, and obviates the risk of inadvertent mis-gendering. And in most circumstances,” he says, “it creates perfectly coherent sentences that people don’t have to strain to understand.”

Well, before looking at the inherent contradiction that comes in using the word “they,” it’s also an inherent confusion, let’s consider the fact that even if you take Farhad Manjoo’s argument at face value—”Oh, it’s wrong to use gender pronouns, we would be morally superior if we get rid of those gender pronouns”—he says that there is no real loss, but of course there’s an immediate loss. We really don’t know as much as we used to know about the person being referred to. When you speak about “they,” intentionally, as he makes clear, referring to either a male or a female or what he calls a non-binary person, you really don’t know as much as you knew when you referred to someone or heard someone referred to as he or she. There’s a tremendous loss of meaning with the use of “they” in that sense, but that’s actually the point. You can’t bring about a moral revolution on gender if the language keeps showing up with those noisome “he’s” and “she’s.”

But then we have to move on to the bigger problem when it comes to the language and that is that “they” is plural. It always has been plural, but now he’s insisting that we should use “they” in the singular.

Speaking of the resistance to using the singular “they,” he writes, “Institutions that cater to grammar snoots still disfavor the usage. The Times allows the singular ‘they’ when the person being referred to prefers it, but its style book warns against widespread usage.”

Here’s The New York Times style book citation, “Take particular care to avoid confusion if using they for an individual.” Why would there be confusion? Well, because “they” implies plural, more than one person. When you speak of “they” in the singular, you begin to confuse the entire language system.

Just consider this simple English sentence: They are drowning, we need to save them. Well, of course we should respond to that with an effort to bring about lifesaving intervention. You save one person. Have we saved them? No one person is a he or a she. If we are told we need to save them and we save only one, have we failed to save another who needs saving?

But we’re talking about this because this is an argument that is coming up again and again, and here it has shown up in the most influential newspaper in the world, and in the voice of one of that newspaper’s own columnists. And furthermore, we are told that Manjoo himself wants to be referred to with the singular “they.” That is his own, you know the language now, preferred personal pronoun.

So I pulled up the biography of Farhad Manjoo on the website of The New York Times. It doesn’t work. Just listen to how he is described. “Farhad Manjoo became a Times opinion columnist in 2018. Before that they wrote the Time’s state-of-the-art column, covering the technology industry’s efforts to swallow up the world. They also have written for Slate, Salon, Fast Company, and The Wall Street Journal. To their chagrin, their 2008 book, True Enough: Learning To Live in a Post Fact World, accurately predicted our modern age of tech embedded echo chambers and alternative facts.”

The last sentence, “Farhad Manjoo was born in South Africa and immigrated with their family to southern California in the late 1980s. They live in northern California with their wife and two children.” So here we have, and remember this is straightforward, this is the official bio on the website at The New York Times, we have an individual who has moved with their family, they live, their wife.

But at this point we should note that this ridiculous exercise only works because we actually do already know who he is. He understands that the issue goes far beyond the language. That’s why the language must be conquered. He says, “One truth I’ve come to understand too late in life is how thoroughly our lives are shaped by gender norms. These expectations are felt most acutely by those who don’t conform to the gender binary.”

But he says, “Even for people who do fit within it, the very idea that there is a binary is invisibly stifling.” Well, let’s just consider for a moment the fact that the vast, vast majority of human beings, for what we know who have ever lived and certainly who speak of their judgment on such things now, are quite comfortable, indeed insistent, upon being known as a he or a she. This is not invisibly stifling.

He also speaks of how this applies to his parenting, “From their very earliest days, my son and daughter, fed by marketing and entertainment, and (surely) their parents modeling, hemmed themselves into silly gender norms. They gravitated to boy toys and girl toys, boy colors and girl colors, boy shows and girl shows.” He concludes, “This was all so sad. They were limiting their very liberty to satisfy some collective abstraction.”

No, they weren’t. And they weren’t just responding to cultural or consumer impulses either. They were responding to some deep knowledge within themselves. And even if the issue of color preferences related to male and female are an abstraction, the fact that even children want to clearly understand themselves as male and female is not an abstraction.

One respondent to Farhad Manjoo in the letter section of a later edition of The Times wrote, “The universal use of the singular ‘they’ by contrast would compel all speakers to change virtually every sentence and deference to the half percent of the population who identify as non-binary. In the process,” wrote Ron Meyers of New York, “it would destroy ancient and universal linguistic distinctions of gender, and much worse, the distinction between the singular and the plural, which is essential to linguistic clarity.”

Here’s something deeply essential to the Christian worldview. The Christian worldview begins with the self-existent God, the God who created everything and gave the gift of being, that is an actual objective reality, to his creation.

Of course, the Bible makes very clear the elaboration of creation from that point. But God, the Creator, gets to determine what the creation is and what the creation means. He made human beings linguistic creatures. We have the capacity for language.

Our responsibility, according to the Christian worldview, is to order our language so as most faithfully to correspond to the reality that God has created. This is a moral responsibility. It’s a theological responsibility. It’s also just a natural impulse because human beings, made in the image of God, given the gift of consciousness, given the gift of language, we desperately do want our language to make sense and to be communicable, one to the other, understandable to those to whom we speak or write or communicate. If our language, if our vocabulary becomes detached from reality, it becomes not only less linguistically useful, it becomes subversive of the very idea of communication.

But note very carefully, this is intentional. This is exactly what the moral revolutionaries, the gender revolutionaries are trying to bring about. If they do not change the language, they cannot change the contours of the worldview, and that’s what they are determined to do. Our language will, if they succeed, no longer correspond to reality, objective reality, it will instead correspond to their newly invented system of gender understanding, or we might say of gender misunderstanding, of confusion rather than of clarity, of self-deception rather than of truth.