I came across this memory device for the Ten Commandments as taught by Pastor Jim McClarty. It works! (Great for both adults and children)
(I would have preferred it if in the video, Commandment number 6 was called “Don’t murder” rather than “Don’t kill” as this is more accurate and precise. This distinction becomes important when we seek to understand other issues such as the death penalty, etc. – but other than that, this is excellent.)
Loving reformed Christians seek to deliver a man from the clutches of Arminian police
“Hey Ted, read him Romans 9.. Brian, you read John 6.. while I grab hold of his arms!”
“This is your Captain speaking. You will be pleased to know that for us in the cockpit of the plane, we have landed… we hope to land the rest of the plane before nightfall.”
“Yes, officer, my fish was stolen by a penguin of medium height and build, with a pony tail…”
“They say that there are alligators in these waters. I haven’t seen any. I say its all a bunch of crock.” (Aussies will get this)
“He gives His beloved sleep…”
NEW PRIVACY ISSUE WITH FACEBOOK. As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you’re in the shower, smack your bottom, and then steal your clothes and towel. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Smacking and Stealing Settings, and un-check the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and Paste on your status to alert the unaware…!!!!!!!!
Someone sent me this today… I definitely did the tambourine and tie thing. 🙂
If the first time you saw your uncle’s shot-glass collection, you wondered where he got all those fancy communion cups, then you might be an evangelical.
If you’ve ever forgotten to set your clock back at the end of Daylight Savings Time and your first thought at seeing the empty church parking lot was, “Oh no, I’ve missed the Rapture,” then …
If you’ve lost track of the number of “re-s” you need to add before “re-re-rededicate your life to Christ,” then …
If your favorite painters are Thomas Kinkade and Warner Sallman, then …
If you never watched “Highway to Heaven,” not because it was too preachy, but because it aired on Wednesday nights, then …
If you knew that “Wednesday nights” in the previous joke was a reference to prayer meeting, then …
If you’ve ever tried to calculate the size of a tip in a restaurant based on how it would influence the waitress’s receptivity to the gospel tract you left with it, then …
“I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.” If you just shouted, “Where?” then …
If your answer to the question “What Would Jesus Do?” is “He would wear a T-shirt that says, ‘WWJD?’” then …
If you’ve ever played the tambourine while wearing a tie, then …
If you’ve ever informed someone you’ve just met that they deserve to suffer in Hell for eternity, and you said this without a trace of anger, then …
If the last rock concert you went to included an altar call, then …
If you own any clothing or accessories that you regard as “a witnessing tool,” then …
If you think the phrase “a witnessing tool” refers to something that’s good to have rather than someone it’s bad to be, then …
If praying in public makes you talk like a 17th-century Quaker, then …
If two acoustic guitars and a Yamaha DX7 keyboard are your idea of a “rock band,” then …
If you think that there’s nothing supernatural about the bread and wine during communion, but that there is something supernatural about a Ouija board made by Parker Brothers, then …
If you know what burning vinyl smells like, then …
If you have strong opinions about when, precisely, Amy Grant “sold out,” then …
If a sentence beginning “Lord, we just, Lord, want to thank you Lord, for just, Lord, just …” doesn’t strike you as either atrocious grammar or a speech impediment, then …
If you think saying grace loudly is a good way to witness at The Olive Garden, then …
If you’ve ever discussed whether The Flintstones was set before or after Noah’s flood, then …
If your fantasy football team was selected based on the personal testimony of the players, then
The Arminian Bridge (Perseverance of the Saints)
“We only lost 4 on the bridge today George”
“Wow, that’s great! Better than yesterday’s number!”
“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word…”
In regards to recent comments from Mark Driscoll that the Church needs to have more manly leaders, the four elders of Happy Church, Odessa, Ukraine, clearly disagree.
Cats are so romantic: “It does not matter where I am, as long as were together”
This is a lot more than a bad hair day
Your Mail Order Bride has just arrived…
I just wonder how a realter would market this… “the innovative floor plan allows you to sit back and relax with a unique view of the city.”
“John, sometimes your posts just really annoy me!”
Actually “No!” This is impressionist Jim Meskimen performing Shakespeare – specifically, Clarence’s speech from Richard III.
Meet Richard Burton, Jimmy Stewart, President George W. Bush, Arnold, Robert DeNiro, George Clooney, Jack Nicholson and a great many more. I wonder which one is your particular favorite.
HT: TC
I can’t work out if this is real or whether this is just an amazing acting job.. but… this is Debbie with her first attempt at finding love through an internet dating site. She does not actually say this, but reading between the lines, I think that she is looking for a cat lover – wouldn’t you agree?
The above video has spread like wildfire on the internet with almost 12 million views (as I write this).
Now a music video has been made of it, which should bring a smile to all cat lovers out there – found here.
oh… and now that we’ve all been there and done that, we can all buy the t-shirt now too: http://carahartmann.spreadshirt.com/
