Family Worship 101

Article by William Boekestein (original source here)

“Why did you steal my gods?” With these words, Laban ended a passionate speech against his son-in-law, Jacob (Gen. 31:30). In fact, Laban’s daughter Rachel had stolen the gods, doubtless to keep alive the memory of her family after moving away with her husband, Jacob. Rachel literally took her family religion with her.

Every family has a god. Every day, young adults leave home with the gods of self-fulfillment, money, leisure, work, or even ministry. Some leave with the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. To a large extent, the difference is determined by how our families worship in the home.

Understanding Family Worship

Family worship is the regular use of Scripture, song, and prayer by a family unit, guided by the head of the household.

Family Worship Is Worship
Family worship is not merely a religious discipline; it is a meeting with the triune God in a spirit of adoration by means of three key ingredients.

First, families worship through Scripture. When we read the Bible, God preaches about Himself and the indescribable gift of His dear Son to a needy world. This message is not just for information, but for exaltation.

Second, families worship through singing. It is inescapable: God’s people sing! The one hundred and fifty psalms reference singing around one hundred and fifty times. The New Testament call to admonish one another through song applies well in the context of the home (Col. 3:16).

Third, families worship through prayer. Since prayer is the chief way in which we show thankfulness to God (H.C. Q/A 116), our prayers must be worshipful, not merely formal. Family prayers should reflect the pastoral ethos and pathos of our High Priest (John 17).

Family Worship Is Regular
As illustrated by the practice of the early church, weekly congregational worship is insufficient for families that have been touched by God’s grace (Acts 2:47; 5:42). Scripture exhorts us to worship God daily, giving glory to Him in all things (Ps. 92:2; 1 Cor. 10:31).

Family Worship Is Covenantal
Before God established worship in the tabernacle, his people worshiped in family tents. “The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tents of the righteous…” (Ps. 118:15). Job’s piety shines in his prayers for his children (Job. 1:5). The faith of young Timothy blossomed in the fertile soil of family worship (2 Tim. 1:5). Christians must spend time alone with God in their prayer closets (Matt. 6:6). But they should also worship together with their families through the use of Scripture, song, and prayer.

Defending Family Worship

Scripture Requires Family Worship
Specifically, God requires heads of households, like good shepherds, to lead their families into green pastures (Josh. 24:15). God expected Abraham to “command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord” (Gen. 18:19, emphasis mine). Consider also the example of Cornelius, “a devout man…who feared God with all his household” (Acts. 10:1). It is no surprise that when Peter came to Caesarea to preach the gospel, Cornelius rallied his household to attendance. “We are all present before God,” he said, “to hear all the things commanded you by God” (v. 33, emphasis mine).

Family Worship Yields Spiritual Growth
Family worship is an indispensible instrument for instilling both old and young with a consciousness of the Lord, His Word, and our call to worship. In research for a recent book, George Barna demonstrates that parents who pass along to their children the baton of spiritual maturity and vitality have one thing in common: they “take God’s words on life and family at face value, and apply those words faithfully and consistently.” Missionary John Paton relates the indelible impact family worship left on his life: “When, on his knees and all of us kneeling around him in Family Worship, [father] poured out his whole soul with tears…for every…need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Saviour, and learned to know and love Him as our Divine Friend.”

Children notice when worship is only a once-a-week activity. God often works powerfully in young lives whose souls are warmed by the incubator of daily family worship.

Improving Family Worship

Many families are convinced by the need for family worship, but struggle in implementation. In such cases, what can be done?

Study Family Worship as a Family
Some time ago, our family spent a month carefully reading and discussing Joel Beeke’s booklet, “Family Worship.” Partly due to the dynamic of learning together, this study made a lasting impression on us.

Stick to a Plan
Haphazard Scripture reading rarely edifies over the long haul. Families should include variety in their plans and adjust them over time. But following a regular Scripture reading plan helps us read the Bible the way it was meant to be read: as a cohesive history of God’s redemptive work.

Select a Time that Works
Unless worship is codified in a family’s schedule it will likely be supplanted by life’s busyness. Some families will flourish with morning worship; others will better meet in the evening. Families that can find no time in their week for worship need to adjust their schedule.

Sing!
For some Christians–particularly those who were not raised in the church or in singing homes–the thought of introducing song into family worship seems utterly unrealistic. But, as with all things, to establish a fresh tradition of family singing, begin with what you know. Start with familiar songs and progress to less-familiar songs with the help of tools (e.g. www.hymnary.org).

Strive for Regularity, Not Perfection
Most of us have become frustrated when our family worship ideals eclipsed reality. Family worship is like a great friendship. It has its bumps, but it is forged through regular meaningful interaction. William Gouge observed that “a nail that at one blow barely enters, with many blows is knocked all the way in.” So it is with repetition in family worship.

Through the gospel, Jesus enters our lives and our families. Where He has entered, He is to be worshiped. Where He is worshiped, we trust He will stay and live and work and bless.

My Wonderful Mother

Sad News: My wonderful mother (Grace) departed this world Sunday night. While we as a family are feeling the deep pain of her loss, we are very much comforted knowing where she is just now. She truly loved the Lord Jesus and His gospel and pointed so many to the Savior she cherished. Her earth suit just gave up on her at age 91 – absent from the body, present with the Lord. What an amazing lady! I love her dearly and am so happy that God allowed her to be my mother. In good times and hard times, she followed her Lord faithfully. I will miss her terribly, even though I know we will one day meet again. I would so appreciate your prayers for our family at this time.

** UPDATE: This morning (Monday), just several hours after my mother’s passing, and after a sleepless night, I recorded two hours of radio programs that will air next week throughout Phoenix (having been invited to do so just on Friday). I thought about NOT doing the recordings, staying home and just reflecting and grieving… and I think everyone would understand if I did not go through with the programs, but then I thought, isn’t this the best thing possible??? – to be given the opportunity of preaching the gospel even in a time of mourning, and pointing people to the wonderful, perfect Savior my mother loved so much? I did this and felt the pleasure of God with me as I proclaimed the gospel as clearly as I think I ever have. What a blessing!

Perhaps, even in heaven, the Lord might say to my Mom, “look, your son mourns you deeply, but look… he is proclaiming the gospel, even through the tears.” How good the Lord is to give me this opportunity at such a time. I understand that several thousand will hear the programs.

*** GRACE SAMSON’S MEMORIAL SERVICE

A Memorial Service for Grace will take place on Saturday, May 13, at 4:30 p.m. at Palos Verdes, 18441 N. 87th Avenue, Peoria, AZ 85382.

Family Integrated Church

kidsinchurchJeff Durbin, Tempe writes the following:

Why does Apologia Church do ‘Family Integrated Worship’? It creates difficulties, we have lost people because of it (too hard), and it slows down church growth. Here are a few reasons:

1. We believe that God’s Word ought to be the foundation for how we worship God.

2. We don’t believe that we have the right to be creative or novel in corporate worship. God’s Word not only tells us “why” we worship God but “how” we ought to do it.

3. Throughout the Scriptures, God gives us a pattern and model in terms of gathering for worship. Children were present during the Passover meal and during various feasts (Ex. 12:1-4; 16:9-17), children were taught the Law of God and were called to keep the Sabbath holy (this included corporate worship: Exodus 20), whole families (including children) were commanded to listen to the reading of the Law (Deuteronomy 31:9-13), nursing children were a part of the called assembly (Joel 2:13), in Paul’s letters (which were read during worship) he has specific words to children (with the assumption that children were present in the corporate gathering for worship; Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20), and children were present during Christ’s preaching and teaching (Matthew 14:13-21).

4. God created human-beings to worship Him. That’s our ultimate purpose. It is during the corporate gathering (what some call “big church”) that we sing praises to God, hear the preaching and teaching of God’s Word, and witness and participate in the ordinances of the church. The Bible gives clear instruction that we are to do these things including how we are to do them. We are convinced that it is not appropriate to create (in a novel way) a second form (little church) that functions apart from the normative instruction of how we are to worship.

5. Children witness how we are to worship God and hear the faithful proclamation of the Word during corporate worship in a way that is very, very different than the common separated model. One of the great joys of my own ministry is watching small-children holding their parent’s hand with one hand and raising the other to God as they sing together.

Objections:

1. Children are distracting.
Yes, they are. That doesn’t give us a license to ignore the clear pattern of Scripture for how corporate worship is to be done. Further, we should give grace to children and patiently instruct them on how to show reverence to the worship of God. This is an excellent opportunity to work on our own hearts and make a commitment to train children on how to worship God. It’s hard work. There’s no question about that. How we respond to this says much more about us than it does about noisy children.

God called noisy, crying, booger-picking kids into His sacred assemblies. He is apparently fine with it and wants it. We should too. Sanctification is a process in which our hearts desires are conformed to His.

2. Children are not capable of understanding.
Respectfully, this is one of the weakest arguments I have encountered. The Bible has many examples of instruction to children and Jesus called us not to forbid children from coming to Him to learn from Him. When I hear this objection, it grieves me. Many Muslim children are encouraged to memorize the entire Quran at very young ages. We need to trust the clarity of God’s Word, the power of God’s Spirit, and we should believe that God is able to communicate His truth (even the deep things) to small children. We should be allowing our children to wrestle with the deep things of God from a young age. We ought to teach our children to be rigorous in their thinking for the glory of God. That isn’t to say that we don’t bring things to their level, it’s to say that we shouldn’t be comfortable with constantly dumbing-down the faith for young children. This, I believe, will ultimately hurt them. Could it be that this is the means of how so many professing young “believers” end up abandoning the faith when challenged with some of the weakest and worst arguments when they get to college? Further, what do we think is the best model for creating a pattern of life that our children learn from infancy: seeing their parents participate in corporate worship or being separated from their parents so as to not see it?

Finally, there are lots of things that many adults don’t fully grasp from the pulpit. Do we then create new programs and church structures for all of the people who just want the “easy stuff”?

3. They disrupt the service.
Again, God is very comfortable with this. He invited these little noise-makers. If it is a severe problem, then commit to a period of time in which through love, patience, and discipline we train them to not disrupt the worship of God. This has a sanctifying effect on them and us. It takes time. Be patient with them.

Let me ask this question: If Jesus showed up for worship on a Sunday, would we separate our children from service?

4. I just need a break.
This, again, says more about our own hearts than it does about children in service. Also, what is worship about? Is it about us or God? Again, He invites them. Why don’t we?

Finally, it’s important to remember that “getting a break” so that “I” can worship means that there’s a group of people who don’t get to worship and get fed so that they can watch my kids and “I” can worship.

5. They will get bored.
Then spend time talking with them about the blessing of knowing God and hearing His Word. This is an excellent opportunity to teach our children about the blessing of God’s Word and the grace of God in giving it TO US! This is an opportunity to talk about what was taught during the message and apply it to our lives. We should model a life-long pursuit of hunger for the things of God. Teach your children to develop a taste for the things of God. Reverence for God’s Word is both taught and caught.

Worshiping God is a privilege and flows from the grace of God. Children should be taught this from a very early age.

Historic Family Photo

especially to my 90 year old mother who had not seen it since the 1940’s. The photo is of my mother’s parents (James and Eleanor MacNamara) and dates back to 1913 (103 years ago). Three of my mother’s siblings are also shown (Bertha, Sam and Dorothy). My mother was born around 13 years later in 1926.