Article by Scott Daniel, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Holden, Maine – Original source here

It doesn’t get more nerve-wracking than flying with young children. Now let’s imagine you’re on a flight with your fussy two year old and, right before takeoff, the flight attendant comes over to inform you that you and your daughter will have to switch seats. You would probably assume this “request” was due to your daughter’s bad behavior—and so you might find yourself getting defensive: “Mrs. Flight Attendant, I understand why you want us to move, but she’s just had a long day and she’s only two and a half, and I really think she’s going to calm down once we’re in the air.”

But imagine she stops you mid-sentence and says, “Oh, it doesn’t have anything to do with that. You’re sitting in an exit row and she’s simply too young to carry out the responsibilities required of her.”

Relief, right? The flight attendant wasn’t saying anything bad about your daughter or your parenting. Simply, to no fault of her own, your daughter is too young to perform the required task for her position.

Now let me explain what this has to do with explaining to young children and their parents why they should hold off on baptism, the Lord’s Supper, and church membership until their child is older.

I’ll unfold the explanation in three steps.

STEP #1

The New Testament is clear that church membership, baptism, and the Lord’s Supper all go together. In other words, the person who participates in one should participate in the other two, and the person who isn’t ready for one isn’t yet ready for the other two.

Baptism brings someone into church membership (Matthew 28:19–20, Acts 2:41). The Lord’s Supper maintains that membership (1 Corinthians 10:16–17). This explains why there’s no New Testament category for someone who is baptized, but not a church member—or someone who’s a member, but isn’t taking the Lord’s Supper. All three go together.

STEP #2

The New Testament gives a single, one-size-fits-all description of church membership. There’s no female membership vs. male membership. There’s no Gentile membership vs. Jewish membership. There is no slave membership vs. free membership. And there’s no young children membership vs. adult membership.

There is, simply put, “membership.” And here’s the rub: New Testament membership includes tasks that are an unnatural fit for children. For example:

Submission to elders (Hebrews 13:17, 1 Peter 5:1-2)[1],
participation in the church discipline process wherein someone not only submits his own life and doctrine for congregational oversight (which can always lead to excommunication), but where he’s expected to be part of this process for others (which oftentimes requires hearing a certain degree of detail about these situations)
participation in the more common situation wherein a member is commanded to point out sin to another member (Galatians 6:1, 1 Thessalonians 5:14).
These tasks and more are commanded by the New Testament for all church members.

STEP #3

Therefore, if someone isn’t yet ready for the New Testament’s understanding of church membership, then they’re also not ready for baptism or the Lord’s Supper.

So, pastor, when a set of parents wants their child to be baptized or to receive the Lord’s Supper, don’t put the parents in the position of having to defend their child (the same way you’d have defended your daughter to a flight attendant). Instead, go the church membership route.

Along that route, you simply don’t have to make any judgment about their child’s relationship with Jesus. You don’t have to make a judgment about his or her spiritual maturity or love for the church. All you’re saying is that he or she is simply too young to carry out the responsibilities required of church members in the New Testament.

My flock is small, and I’ve only been pastoring for four years. But I hope you’ll find this approach to be as helpful as I have. If you approach the conversation with pastoral care and patience, then it’s likely families will come to the same conclusion as you.

FOOTNOTE:

[1] Notice that, even though the Lord loves the way he’s set up the family where the husband is in charge of the household and the husband and wife are in charge of the children, he doesn’t paint a picture where pastoral care for certain members is mediated through a husband or father. Every church member is connected to the elders with a straight line, not one that zigzags through a parent or a spouse.

“Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the Lord, speak, saying, The Lord hath utterly separated me from his people…” (Isaiah 56:3).

Wilhelmus à Brakel The Christian’s Reasonable Service vol. 2, pp. 55-60.

It is the duty of everyone who desires to be saved to turn to the church, making diligent effort to be accepted as a member of the church community.

First, this is God’s way whereby He leads the elect unto salvation. “And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved” (Acts 2:47); “Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the Lord, speak, saying, The Lord hath utterly separated me from His people” (Isa 56:3).

Secondly, this has been the task of the apostles in accordance with their commission (Matt 28:19), as is to be observed in the entire Acts of the Apostles.

Thirdly, this is consistent with the nature of God’s children. As soon as they are converted, they cannot rest until they have been received into the bosom of their spiritual mother (Gal 4:26).

Fourthly, this is the consistent confession of the church of all ages, and particularly of churches of the Netherlands. In article 28 of the Belgic Confession we read: “We believe, since this holy congregation is an assembly of those who are saved, and that out of it there is no salvation, that no person of whatsoever state or condition he may be, ought to withdraw himself, to live in a separate state from it; but that all men are in duty bound to join and unite themselves with it.” We have elaborated on this in chapter 24.

Fifthly, the church is the glory of Christ. It is there that Christ is confessed and proclaimed throughout the world, being held forth as a banner upon a hill around which one must gather himself. This is the city upon a hill, and a light shining in the darkness. She is the means whereby the truth is made known and preserved, and the means unto the conversion of souls. Everyone is therefore obligated to facilitate this by joining himself to the church.

Motives for Joining the Church
In order that you may be stirred up and be active concerning this, calmly consider first of all that there are but two kings in this world, each having a kingdom: the kingdoms of Christ and of the devil, which are mortal enemies to each other. A third kingdom does not exist. Every person upon earth is either a subject of King Jesus or of the devil, the prince of darkness. No matter who you are individually, you are truly a subject of one of these two kingdoms. You are neither neutral nor a subject of both kingdoms simultaneously. Therefore, to which kingdom do you presently belong? What do you have to say for yourself? If you neither know nor have ever given this any thought, come and sit next to me for a moment; let us consider this matter, and then make a heartfelt and eternal choice. Whose subject do you wish to be? Whom do you choose to be your king?

If you choose the devil to be your king and to be subject to him—to do his will, to indulge in your lusts, to wallow in your sins as a swine in the mire, to seek those things which are upon earth, to satisfy your lusts, as well as for leisure and entertainment—o let it be. Enjoy it to the fullest as long as you have the opportunity. “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes” (Eccles. 11:9); “…love the world…all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life…” (1 John 2:15-16). If therefore by your very deeds you reveal yourself to be a subject of the devil, be also not ashamed to bear the name of such a subject. Own, acknowledge, and confess the devil to be your lord and master. Trust in him, and delight yourself in the fact that you will eternally be with him in the lake that burns with brimstone, where the smoke of torment will ascend forever and ever.

Someone may think, “This is stated too blatantly. Christ must be our King. Even if we seek our own pleasure, conform to the will of Satan, and live a distinctly worldly life, the devil is not therefore our king.” To this we respond, “He most certainly is!” If you in turn respond, “Christ is nevertheless our King,” we reply, “He most certainly is not!” Listen to what Paul says: “Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness” (Rom 6:16).

Therefore, if in truth you neither wish the devil to be your king nor to have your portion with him in outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matt 25:30), then resolutely, without reservation, and without recantation resign from his service, and with all your heart bid the devil’s kingdom farewell, forsake all sin and the lusts of the flesh, and enter into the kingdom of the Lord Jesus. Receive Him as your sole and sovereign King. Do this not only verbally, externally, by way of approximation or by way of sudden impulse, but consciously and in truth. Continue reading →