Youth, Baptism and Membership

Article “Youth and Church Membership—Or, Stop Baptizing Children into the Ether” by Alex Duke, editorial manager of 9Marks (original source here –
https://www.9marks.org/article/youth-and-church-membership-or-stop-baptizing-children-into-the-ether/ )

So as to begin on the surest footing, allow me to list all the verses that directly address the topic of young people (that is, under 18 years old) and church membership:

That’s right. There are none. Never does the Lord tell us: this is how the new covenant people of God ought to embrace children into its number. (As I say this, paedobaptists grouse and facepalm.)

PRINCIPLED PRUDENCE

This conversation ought to happen in the realm of prudence and wisdom. This isn’t “Thus sayeth the Lord”; it’s “because the Lord hath sayeth thus about this and this and this, we’re inclined to believe this is the best way forward on that.” But the best prudential decisions are informed by principles; the best wisdom considers the law.

So what principles inform our understanding of youth and church membership? I can think of a few.

1. God saves young people.

If you were to take a straw poll at church this Sunday and ask your people a simple question—“How many of you were saved before your 18th birthday?”—it’s safe to say that many if not most people would raise their hands. Why? Because God saves young people. He saves 17-year-olds whose friends invite them to youth group. He saves 5-year-olds who show up at VBS because their unsaved parent simply needed a break and some free child care. God saves young people.

2. Church membership is only for those whom God has saved.

Our local churches—that is, our gatherings of the new covenant people of God; that is, our embassies of true Israel, now reconstituted under the headship of the risen and reigning Christ, filled by Spirit-filled priests—are not mixed bodies by design. National Israel followed a different story, of course: she was mixed by design. But not true Israel. In the new covenant age, God wanted to make crystal clear that new hearts aren’t given at the end of a birth canal, but at the beginning of a life of faith.

3. When discerning an individual’s salvation, we look for a credible profession of faith.

When discerning whether or not someone should be recommended for membership—regardless of their age—we ought to listen for a clear understanding of the gospel, a clear sense that one has indeed been converted from death to life (even if they can’t pinpoint the day, month, or even the year), and a clear change in lifestyle and desires. If any of those three are absent, you should at least be willing to pause and consider whether or not the person in front of you has indeed been born again.

Not everyone who asks “What must I do to be saved?” really wants to be saved. Don’t believe me? Just consider the rich young ruler whose credible profession dissolved in an instant when Jesus asked him a single question about his life (Mark 10:17–22).

At least for credobaptists, these three principles are relatively uncontroversial. Unfortunately, I fear this fourth one has been largely jettisoned by many if not most credobaptist churches.

4. Baptism almost always accompanies church membership.

In 2002, I was baptized at a church but not into a church. I stood in the baptismal as a free-agent Christian, I went down into the water as a free-agent Christian, and I came up out of the water as a free-agent Christian. Never once did it occur to me—or, apparently, to anyone else—that baptism not only serves as an outward sign of an inward reality, but also as an outward introduction into a spiritual institution: the local church. I knew that baptism began my so-called Christian life, but I had no idea that my Christian life ought to be shaped around my submission to a local church.

Simply put, church membership should almost always accompany baptism. This is the nearly uniform witness of the New Testament, with the only exception that I can think of coming from Acts 8 when Philip baptizes the Ethiopian eunuch. But that exception proves the rule because it’s a baptism that occurs in a region and among a people where no church yet exists.

When we don’t keep baptism and membership close together, we turn membership into something unbiblical. So, unless you’re doing parachurch ministry among some remote tribe, baptism should accompany church membership.

That I was baptized without any connection to a church could only happen in a world that diminishes the role of the local church in a Christian’s life and discipleship. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon.

ONE OPTION OFF THE TABLE

Therefore, a church should not baptize young people apart from church membership. To do so is unbiblical, unhelpful, and unloving.

It’s unbiblical because the Bible never envisions baptized Christians living apart from membership in a local church (except on the missionary frontier, as with the Ethiopian eunuch).

It’s unhelpful because when young people begin to stray, their youth pastors are given a toolbelt with valuable tools already taken out. They can’t push a young person toward his elders; he has no elders. They can’t lay out the process of church discipline that lies before him should he continue on a particular path; he has no church who can discipline him, nor has he ever agreed to any kind of covenant that, upon breaching, would warrant his knowing removal.

And finally, it’s unloving because it hardwires in an individualistic understanding of the Christian life. For example, I was baptized at 12 and only about a decade later did I learn how Jesus intends for my discipleship to be shaped by and connected to a local church—under the authority of godly leaders, in fellowship with other saints.

That’s ten years where I was free to gallivant anywhere I wanted with no one in particular tasked before God to look out for me. Thankfully, God preserved me, but I think of my brother, or I think of literally dozens of friends whose baptism into the ether proved to be just that, the first step on a journey to nowhere. Their Christian life has dissolved, their Christian profession is now silent, and whatever tenuous connection to the local church their baptism established has been severed by a decade and a half of inattention. If a baptized person gets lost in a forest and no one is there to see it, does it really make a difference? Jesus seems to say it should (John 10:1–21).

Sadly, thousands of kids will face the same fate, and the churches they’re connected to have made it so.

They’ve been affirmed in their faith as a young person through baptism. Maybe they were 7-years-old; maybe they were 17. The moment accompanied such joy; it occasioned both a beginning and an ending, the old being washed away and the new finally coming.

But baptism apart from membership has led these young Christians through a doorway to nowhere.

It has ushered them into a place that looks like a beautiful home—a space where they can grow up and learn and explore. But it’s a façade. You see, when we baptize any new Christian, we tell them they’re family, that they can move in here with us, that they can plop down on the couch and pick out a bedroom and fill the refrigerator with their favorite food. After all, they’re going to be here a while. They’re home. But when we baptize someone apart from membership, apart from mutual commitment, we’re not inviting them into a home, but to an open house, 10am–2pm every Sunday. The furniture is staged, no one actually sleeps in these beds, and the appliances don’t even work. It’s all for show.

Churches and pastors and youth groups who make of practice of doing this, I encourage you to reconsider. It’s an unbiblical practice that bears bad fruit. Consider instead what might be helpful for that young person in five or 10 years. Consider how double-minded it is to affirm someone has been born again by God’s Spirit, but to keep them formally shut out of God’s people. Consider how—though I know it seems unthinkable right now, in a moment of such joy—you will one day forget about them, and they will forget about you, and all this would have stood for nothing.

THREE POTENTIAL APPROACHES

So, don’t baptize kids into the ether. That’s not a viable option. As I see it, however, there are at least three ways to approach this question without compromising any of the aforementioned principles. I’ll discuss these below, offering my own assessment as to how they adhere to biblical wisdom and best practices.

Approach #1: Except in unusual circumstances, a church will not accept any youth into membership because they will not baptize them.

A church like Capitol Hill Baptist would agree with the horror story I described above and, so as to avoid complicity in perpetuating that story to future generations, they will generally not baptize a young person who is still under the authority of their Christian parents. I think this practice properly underscores the seriousness with which any person—regardless of age—should take their profession of faith. See CHBC’s statement on children and baptism here.

An added bonus is that it clarifies that baptism is not a familial rite of passage. Baptism means a church has embraced an individual and an individual has submitted him- or herself to an institution other than their family.

The whirring engine behind this approach is that it’s simply hard to discern the credibility of a Christian child’s profession of faith. It’s easy to mistake obedience for regeneration.

Now, in unusual circumstances, a church like CHBC will show more flexibility: perhaps a neighborhood kid from a Muslim family starts going to church on his own and believes in Jesus; perhaps a 15-year-old has gone to public school his whole life and has a flourishing evangelistic ministry. In these made-up situations, the evidence would pile high enough so as to at least consider that young person a candidate for baptism and membership.

This is not my own view, but I’m sympathetic to this practice because it correctly identifies a problem: the scourge of nominal young people that scores of churches baptize year after year after year with no intention of ever bringing those individuals up for church discipline should their lives begin to undermine their profession of faith. In these cases, the problem isn’t the presence of baptism, but the absence of meaningful church membership and church discipline.

Sidenote: If you’re at a church that doesn’t practice church discipline at all, then you should follow this road if only because it keeps you from future disobedience.

Approach #2: A church will baptize a young person into membership-with-an-asterisk.

I’m currently the youth pastor of a church—North Shore Baptist Church in Queens, NY—that takes this second route. It’s a practice I inherited, and it works like this: We’ll baptize a young person into “provisional membership”—which means they can attend members’ meetings, serve in various capacities, receive free biblical counseling, and even be disciplined should they begin to live in unrepentant sin.

In almost every respect, they are members of NSBC except they can’t vote at our meetings, and they might be asked to leave should the topic be deemed (either by their parents or us as elders) too mature for them.

This approach acknowledges reality: they’re children, though most if not all are juniors or seniors in high school. But it also treats them in many respects as equals. It raises our expectations for them even as we’ve raised our own commitment to them—not just through their graduation from youth group but through the rest of their lives should the Lord tarry and should they stay nearby.

Approach #3: A church will baptize a young person into full voting membership.

This is basically the same as above, but with any restrictions removed. Sure, a parent may choose to withhold their child from a particular conversation, but it would not be required of them.

For what it’s worth, I’m partial to this choice because it’s cleanest. “Provisional membership” is an extrabiblical category. If a young person has been born again by God the Holy Spirit; if they are being renewed day by day into the image of Christ; if the Holy Spirit is producing in them such fruit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control, then I’m happy for them to cast their vote on questions of membership, leadership, doctrine, and all the rest. Wielding the keys of the kingdom is a privilege reserved not for adults, but for those who have received the Lord Jesus, those who have believed in his name and in so doing have been given the right to become children of God.

CONCLUSION

Lest I be scolded by my higher-ups, I’m not offering the “9Marks view” on this topic, if there is one—only my own.

No matter which of the three options above you choose, you should help young people understand that the Lord’s Supper belongs to members of the church (or members of other churches in attendance). Like baptism and membership, the Supper is a sign that we belong to the body (1 Cor. 10:17). And so it makes no sense to give someone the Supper but not baptism, as parents sometimes do with their children. We must keep these three things tied together—membership, baptism, and the Supper. To divide them changes their meaning into something unbiblical.

It’s true the Bible never directly addresses the topic of how we ought to introduce young people into the membership of our churches. But it does offer principles about salvation and processes of membership that are non-negotiable and therefore must inform and shape our practice.By Alex Duke

Concerning Church Membership

Belgic Confession, Article 28:

The Obligations of Church Members

We believe that since this holy assembly and congregation is the gathering of those who are saved and there is no salvation apart from it, no one ought to withdraw from it, content to be by himself, regardless of his status or condition. But all people are obliged to join and unite with it, keeping the unity of the church by submitting to its instruction and discipline, by bending their necks under the yoke of Jesus Christ, and by serving to build up one another, according to the gifts God has given them as members of each other in the same body. And to preserve this unity more effectively, it is the duty of all believers, according to God’s Word, to separate themselves from those who do not belong to the church, in order to join this assembly wherever God has established it, even if civil authorities and royal decrees forbid and death and physical punishment result. And so, all who withdraw from the church or do not join it act contrary to God’s ordinance.

A Pastoral Letter to a Hurting Friend

This morning I read a letter from Pastor Joel Ellis to a friend who is hurting and agonizing over many things. It is a truly excellent letter, filled with genuine compassion and what I believe to be very helpful insight. I think it is something everyone of us could benefit from reading and so pass it on to you with a prayer that it may be useful to you in your own walk with the Lord. You are loved, Pastor John  

Pastor Joel Ellis (of Reformation OPC, Apache Junction, AZ) writes:

Greetings in our Lord Jesus Christ! I hope you are having a very blessed week and experiencing the joy and peace that we have in Christ which transcends and triumphs over all of our pain, stress, trouble, and labor. I have attached an edited copy of a letter I recently sent to a friend with whom I correspond on a regular basis. He is not a member of our church and is unknown to any of our members. It is an appeal to trust God when circumstances, pain, and doubt makes it seem impossible to do so. I debated whether to share it, but knowing how often this kind of counsel is needed, I decided to do so. I hope it has value for some of you.

A Letter to a Friend

Every believer is like the father in Mark 9 whether he knows it or not. The father’s son is severely tormented by a demon with a self-destructive, suicidal agenda. The monster throws the boy into the fire and into the water in an effort to kill his host. The father probably hasn’t slept well a single night since the demon came into his son’s life.

We don’t know how old the boy was or how long the oppression had been going on, but at some point the father hears that Jesus of Nazareth has been casting out demons. He brings his son to where Jesus is reported to be, but he learns that Jesus has gone up on the mountain with three of his disciples. The father was probably disappointed, but the remaining nine disciples reassure him: “Don’t worry. We can handle this. Jesus gave us the power to cast out demons too, and we have done so successfully many times. We will help your son.” Evidently they tried, but they failed. The demon laughed at them. Their power was useless. They faced their greatest test yet, and they did not succeed. An argument broke out. The religious leaders jumped on the chance to call these men, and their master, Jesus, a fraud. A crowd grew, and the argument became louder, when suddenly Jesus returned. The Lord asked the father what was going on, and the father explained. The father wanted to believe that Jesus could help him, but he was wracked with grief, exhausted in every way that a person can be, and his faith had been badly shaken by the failure of the disciples. He asked Jesus, “If you can do anything, have mercy on us and help us.” Jesus replied, “If you can? Believe. All things are possible to him who believes.” The father answered in sincerity and brokenness, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

Which is it? Was that father an unbeliever who wanted to believe or a believer who struggled with unbelief? Yes. Every believer, to one degree or another, is that father and shares in the same experience.

I appreciate your honesty about your lack of faith. Maybe that is real and what you lack is a true, new birth. Not a religious decision, not a self-directed commitment, but a radical change of heart and life affected by the Holy Spirit. Maybe you have had that new birth but years of spiritual inattention, inconsistency, disobedience, and neglect have weakened your faith and led to this spiritual anguish and trial. Or maybe God has withdrawn a bit in order to teach you your weakness without him. He does that sometimes. Psalm 30 describes a time in David’s life when he thought everything was going well. God took a step back, and David landed on his face. “Be humble or be humbled.” That saying isn’t in the Bible, but the idea certainly is. God sometimes sends us sanctifying trouble to teach us to trust him.

I’m sorry about your friend… who took his own life. It is hard to wrap our minds around things like that. I won’t try to offer you any simplistic answers or platitudes. There aren’t any. Cancer is an evil. Pain is an undeniable reality. And the misery that leads to suicide doesn’t get better simply because we will it to be so. There is no point living in a fantasy, and that’s sometimes what well-meaning Christians do. They imagine all kinds of promises that God never made: “God wants you to have your best life now.” “This will work out, get better, turn out just fine.” How do you know? Today is bad, and tomorrow could be worse. God never promises to take away all of our pain and problems in this life. He never promised that the good guys would live to be old or die in honorable ways. Life is hard, and then you die. A lot of modern, American church-ianity doesn’t admit that and wants to pretend otherwise. But that is not a fair representation of the Bible. The Scriptures are very clear about the painful realities of our present, fallen world. The Bible doesn’t whitewash our pain and struggle. It doesn’t build castles in the clouds so that we can pretend it was other than what it is. The Scriptures deal in reality, and reality is cold, hard, and heavy.

You know this is wrong, on many levels. You know that good guys getting cancer and killing themselves is wrong. It’s not right. It’s unfair. Our hearts cry out for justice, but we don’t find it here. C. S. Lewis said that if you find in your heart a desire that cannot be satisfied in this world, it is evidence you were made for another. He’s right. The human heart carries desires that cannot be fulfilled here, and it’s because we were made for more.

You said you see around you “so many things daily that point to anything but an all powerful, benevolent, heavenly father,” but you perceive the evil and malevolence of those forces because your heart carries the fingerprints of a good and just God whose perfect righteousness enables you to perceive all of the injustice and wickedness in this world.

Do you suppose coyotes meditate upon the injustice of the world? Do you think hyenas are troubled by the moral implications of their social context? Evil and injustice don’t exist if there is no God. You would not be able to recognize what is wrong in the world if you did not have a category for good, justice, and truth.

… you need Jesus. I don’t say that because of what you wrote in the email. I say it to myself every day. I say it to my church every week. Literally, every Sunday we have a place in our worship where we corporately recite 1 Timothy 1:15: “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the foremost.”

That verse does not mean every person is supposed to believe his sins are more heinous than anyone else’s. That would obviously be untrue. It’s not a self-deprecating delusion that we are affirming in that verse. What the author is saying is this: “I am the first and the worst sinner I know, because I know my own sin in a way I know no one else’s.” I’m not a serial killer, rapist, or thief. I’m a “good person” by societal standards. But am I justified by this? No way. I know my heart. I know the pride, selfishness, lust, anger, resentment, laziness, and indifference that lurks in me. I am fighting against my flesh every day, and my greatest opponent is not the world or the Devil, it is myself. It’s not just the world that is broken; it is me. I am broken, broken by the sin outside and all around me, broken by the sin within me, the sin for which I am personally responsible.

Why do you care that another person got sick and killed himself? At least it wasn’t you. Tomorrow it may be you or me, but we’ll simply enjoy the ride until we’re not having fun anymore, and then…. If there is no God, there is no basis for grieving over a good man. We are just bags of biological material, stardust bumping into other particles of stardust, random in our appearance, purposeless in our existence, and destined to pass out of sentient experience. But you know that’s not true. You are grieving. You are questioning. You are wondering why, what’s the point, how can this happen? Stardust doesn’t ask these kinds of questions. Earthworms don’t write books exploring the purpose of life. Only the offspring of God do so.

There is a God, and his existence doesn’t depend on our belief in him or trust in him at all. He made man in his image and gave us life for the purposing of glorifying him and enjoying fellowship with him forever. But our first father, Adam, took that gift and corrupted it. We have received God’s good gifts and used them in pride and selfishness. We have rejected relationship with God and decided we wanted instead to be God. How is that working out for us? Have we been able to justify our existence? Have we found transcendent peace and joy by removing God from the equation?

The Bible describes the gospel as of “first importance” (1Cor. 15:3). This gospel is, literally, good news. It’s the only objectively and permanently good news you can count on: Christ died for sins, he was buried, and he rose the third day, so that whoever believes in him will not perish but will have everlasting life. Christ paid the penalty of our sins. He took the death we deserved, so that we might receive the gift of eternal life we do not deserve but are freely given in him. You are not saved by faith. Faith has no inherent power to save or worth to merit anything. You are saved, if you are saved at all, by Christ. It isn’t faith that saves us; it is the One in whom we have faith. It is not the

strength of your faith in him that saves you either; it is having faith in him. Even a small faith, even a weak faith—is there any other kind?–if it trusts in the Savior, is the instrument of divine justification and everlasting life.

Trust in him, my friend. Read the Psalms and cry out to him in prayer. Confess that this world is broken and that you, like the father in Mark 9, are an unbeliever who wants to believe, a believer who is struggling with unbelief, and one who knows the resolution cannot be found in yourself or this world. Pray that God will give you the grace of faith–it is a gift (Php. 1:29; Eph. 2:8-9)–and enable you to grow in your love for and trust in him.

Whatever you do, don’t give up. You are made by God and for God. Your life has meaning and purpose, and that purpose is not to be found in what you do but in who and whose you are. Don’t you lose sight of that. Be strong and courageous. I am here for you, to listen, to commiserate, to weep, to encourage, and to serve in anyway that I can.